Love And Betrayal

I hope you have lost your good looks for while they last any fool can adore you, and the adoration of fools is bad for the soul. No, give me a ruined complexion and a lost figure and sixteen chins on a farmyard of crow’s feet and an obvious wig. Then you shall see me come out strong” – George Bernard Shaw

I don’t know when he said this.  Is it a dialogue of a play he wrote?  He is such a sarcastic, albeit witty, person that one can never be sure when he is joking. 😉

I guess all of us want the love of our life to love us even when we are no longer beautiful nor young – ESPECIALLY when we are no longer beautiful nor young.  When we venture into marriage, we all do it with the intention of being together forever.  Many couples braved tremendous challenges in order to be married.  Some even crossed family and friends for the sake of their love.  But somehow, after marriage, their strenght decrease, and they give up hope on keeping their love and marriage alive.

Love And Betrayal

It is a sad fact that 1 in 5 Malaysian marriages (20%) ends in divorce . What disappoints me a lot is when couples divorce after more than a decade of marriage.  Some even after 30 years of being together!   It is usually the men who made the choice (oppsss.. that’s true! admit it guys 😀 ) – for the sake of a younger woman, they would throw away the love of a proven loyal wife and the respect of their children.  Most of these men live to regret their action.  It is not divorce that ruins them, it’s their unfaithfulness during the term of their marriage that destroys their credibility.

In Malaysia, we have seen so many examples of men’s failure at being loyal to their wife.  They quote many reasons for their infidelities, but the fact remains that most men are not loyal.  Their love for beautiful and youthful things are outrageous especially as they reach a certain of age (above 40), as though they regress to feeling younger and being immature as they age.

Many broken Muslim marriages, are due to husbands wanting to marry younger or sexier women. 😉

Ok la guys… Well, maybe there are other reasons.  Maybe the marriage was already broken from inside, but both parties continue with it for the sake of their children, public perception, etc.  Maybe it’s due to middle-age syndrome/mid-life crisis.  Now, I am reminded of a saying (I don’t know who said it but I don’t think it’s my wife 😀 ):  “A woman marries hoping that the man would change; the man marries hoping that the woman would remain the same.”

Men wants ‘his woman’ to be beautiful and sexy, always.  They can accept the fact that people age, including themselves but they hate it when their wife looks older every year.  Then they fall in love, again, with a younger woman, not necessarily prettier than their 1st wife.  They want to remarry, and so the divorce happens.

For Muslims, although polygamy is allowed, most women would rather starve than live in a polygamous relationship.

Women are loyal by nature (most women ok), therefore they find it torturous to condone such betrayal, especially when they have sacrificed a lot and endured hardship helping their husband in his career.  Then when the men has succeeded, another woman reaped the benefits.  In most cases, the ‘other woman‘ is merely the straw that broke the camel’s back.  Still, I wish that before a couple resort to divorce, they all try to see an expert.

I wish that before men even think about flirting with another women, they examine their marriage and work towards improving it first.

Marriage and family life should be the greatest treasure in anyone’s life.  Divorce should be the last resort, taken when there are no other option.  It should not happen due to the involvement of a third party because to do so would mean treachery on love.  Betrayal of a person who loves you the most.

A murder on trust.  A coward’s way out of the trials of life.

Love And Betrayal

12 Comments

  1. I have really painful experience with my 7 years of good friend, A TEACHER who not only backstabbed me but also trying to steal my boyfriend. Not only she had sex with him but right after that she dare to see me for dinner and pretend to be my good friend until I found out! She is same age with me, not younger and definitely NOT prettier!! That’s even make me feel sicker!

  2. Manusia biasa lupa yang sesuatu yang dianugerahkan kepada kita tu pastinya yang terbaik buat kita. Dalam kehidupan berumahtangga dan bekeluarga, komunikasi yang baik, rasa tanggungjawab dan perasaan takutkan Allah biasanya akan dapat mengelakkan kita daripada terjerumus dalam kecurangan. Bila dah pernah berlaku curang, memang susah nak membetulkan keadaan. Semoga kita semua di sini dijauhi daripada ujian tersebut.

    1. Zaman sekarang, tak boleh kata juga perempuan yang setia, dan lelaki yang selalu curang, kan!

  3. Kata Oki Setiana Dewi, cinta tiga segi dalam perkahwinan itu perlu ada. Cinta antara suami, isteri, dan Allah. 🙂

  4. kadang2 dan selalunya cinta dan kasih sayang perlu dikorbankan kerana tanggung jawab
    banyak tanggung jawab yang perlu dipikul

  5. I’ve discovered as I’ve grown up that life is far more complicated than you think it is when you’re a kid.

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