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4 Myths about Dating You Should Stop Believing Today

by Ismail N   ·  3 months ago   ·  

Finding “the one” all seems so effortless as it’s shown in the movies and on television. You meet someone on a blind date, look into each other’s eyes, and then sparks fly instantly. However, dating and starting a relationship is not that simple in reality, which is probably why not everyone is willing to put themselves out there to try to find their special someone.

Although a recent survey by Southeast Asian dating service provider Lunch Actually revealed that 93% of Malaysians wanted to be in a committed relationship, many singles in Malaysia continue to avoid dating. Many of them cite a limited social circle and lack of opportunities to meet potential partners as reasons for not dating. Perhaps the main issue is not solely about the challenges of meeting potential partners but could be partly about believing in dating myths—those misconceptions that can hold certain individuals back from finding a significant other.

If you’ve been out of the dating scene for a long time and you’re looking forward to dating Malaysia singles again, it’s advisable to learn the most common myths about dating to help you begin your journey with the right mindset. Here are some of them:

Myth No 1: Finding Dates through a Professional Dating Service Means You’re “Desperate

Nobody will call an entrepreneur “desperate” when they engage the services of a reputable recruitment agency to find top talents, don’t you agree? In the same way, finding potential partners through a professional dating service is far from being desperate. It is, in fact, a sensible option, especially if you lack the time and energy to socialise and meet people, need help navigating the modern dating scene, or want to find commitment-minded individuals.

When you get the services of a professional matchmaker, for example, you’ll essentially have dating experts who will screen and search potential partners according to the qualities and characteristics you are specifically looking for. That means there is a high chance that you’ll find someone you’ll click with even on a first date. They will also help you every step of the way, from providing dating advice and arranging your date to offering feedback and insights about the experience.

Myth No. 2: Dating Should Be Effortless

This misconception is probably one of the main reasons why some people get disillusioned and give up on dating. After all, if you believe that dating should be naturally delightful, it can be easy to feel discouraged when you don’t have fun or feel happy every single time you date. It’s worth pointing out that while some people luck out and have a fairy-tale dating experience, this is not the norm. It’s not often that two people hit it off from the get go and start a romantic relationship without much effort.

As with other valuable activities, dating entails exerting some amount of effort to work. You have to pick out the right outfit, say the right things, learn to listen, and be mindful of the feelings of the other person. Most importantly, you may need to open up and be emotionally vulnerable to connect with someone—which can be scary. When you approach dating with an understanding that you have to give your best, you’re more likely to find someone special and experience something meaningful.

Myth No 3: You Have to Be Completely Transparent and Let Your Date Know You’re Interested

While being straightforward and making your feelings clear when you’re attracted to your date may seem like the adult thing to do to move the relationship forward in the shortest possible time, it’s best often not to do so. You may not realise it, but revealing your feelings or sharing too much about yourself with a potential partner during the initial meeting can make them lose interest in you.

If you want to entice someone after your first date, a better strategy would be to do quite the opposite. You could try to make it appear that you’re not overly interested and share just enough information to get your date’s attention.

One study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found that people who play hard to get are often perceived to be more attractive and desirable, and they have a higher mate value. Moreover, their potential partners also tend to put more effort into seeing them again. On the contrary, those who make their romantic interest obvious straight away are often seen as desperate and less appealing.

Myth No. 4: You Should Go on Numerous Dates to Have a Better Chance of Meeting a Potential Partner

Dating is not a lottery wherein you need to go on dates with as many people as possible to have more chances of “winning” or finding a romantic partner. In fact, focusing on quantity can do more harm than good when it comes to finding love. Rather than taking your time to know someone who might be a suitable match, you’ll be too busy thinking about your succeeding dates. You’ll probably keep moving from one person to the next as you believe that somebody “better” is out there.

If your dating goal is to meet someone special and build a long-lasting relationship, go for quality over quantity. Make sure to give each person your complete attention to know them on a deeper level. Remember that you’re dating people with feelings just like you. So, be careful not to hurt them in your quest for searching “the one.”

Hopefully, this article helped you realise the truth about the many dating misconceptions that can hinder your chances of finding a potential romantic partner. As you start going on dates again, perhaps it’s time to ditch these false impressions—along with the many societal expectations that burden you and the long list of must-have qualities that you look for in a partner but only fictional characters can live up to. Instead, try to be more open and flexible. Who knows? Maybe the right one is somebody you least expect.


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